Shon Faye: Love in Exile

‘We ache for love, but love eludes us. Out of this crisis comes so much of what it means to be human.’

Shon Faye grew up quietly obsessed with the feeling that love was not for her. Not just romantic love: the secret fear of her own unworthiness penetrated every aspect and corner of her life.

It was a fear that would erupt in destructive, counterfeit versions of the real love she craved: addictions and short-lived romances that were either euphoric and fantastical, or excruciatingly painful and unhinged, often both.

Faye’s experience of the world as a trans woman, who grew up visibly queer, exacerbated her fears. But, as she confronted her damaging ideas about love and lovelessness, she came to realise that this sense of exclusion is symptomatic of a much larger problem in our culture.

In Love in Exile, Faye shows love is much greater than the narrow ideals we have been taught to crave so desperately that we are willing to bend and break ourselves to fit them.

Shon Faye is author of the acclaimed bestseller The Transgender Issue.

Moya Lothian-McLean is a journalist and podcaster. She is currently a staff writer and editor at the Glasgow Bell newspaper, and co-hosts lifestyle podcast If I Speak, which was named as a ‘Best of 2024’ by The Guardian.